30 Minutes Ago: President Donald Trump was Shot AGAIN But this time on his NOSE While he was Exiting the White House and was Urgently Rushed to the Hospital only for doctors to discover he has cancer of the…
In a bizarre and bewildering turn of events, former President Donald J. Trump was allegedly shot on the nose earlier today while exiting a side entrance of the White House, where he was reportedly visiting to inspect the new “Trump Gold Balcony” he had proposed back in 2020.
Eyewitnesses claim the projectile was “not a bullet, but something much weirder,” with one tourist insisting it looked like “a rolled-up subpoena launched from a slingshot.”
Secret Service agents immediately rushed Trump to Walter Reed Medical Center for evaluation. While examining the minor nose injury, doctors claim they made a startling discovery: a suspicious growth in his nasal cavity.
“While it’s too early to determine the severity,” said a doctor who wished to remain anonymous, “initial scans suggest something consistent with stage MAGA carcinoma, a rare condition known only to affect individuals who wear red hats for more than eight hours a day.”
Trump himself commented on the incident via Truth Social from his hospital bed:
“This was the most PERFECT nose injury, probably in the history of noses.
Doctors say my nose is incredibly strong and might be the healthiest nose ever, except maybe Lincoln’s. Also, fake news cancer. Probably planted by the Deep State. Sad!”
White House Press Secretary Claribel Quirke denied any official involvement, stating, “Mr. Trump is a private citizen, and the only shots being fired at the White House today were espresso shots in the West Wing Café.”
While investigations are ongoing, some believe this may have been a rogue attack by an anti-nasal extremist group known as “The Smellers,” protesting against Trump’s infamous 2020 comment: “I have the best nose for politics.”
News
My daughter left my 3 grandkids “for an hour” at my house but she never came back. 13 years later, she came with a lawyer and said I kidnapped them. But when I showed the envelope to the judge, he was stunned and asked: “Do they know about this?” I replied: “Not yet…
The gavel slams down like a thunderclap in the hushed Houston courtroom, shattering the silence that’s choked my life for…
MY SISTER AND I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE TOGETHER, BUT MY PARENTS ONLY PAID FOR MY SISTER’S TUITION. “SHE DESERVED IT, BUT YOU DIDN’T.” MY PARENTS CAME TO OUR GRADUATION, BUT THEIR FACES TURNED PALE WHEN…
The morning sun cut through the tall oaks lining the campus of a small university just outside Boston, casting long,…
I JUST SIGNED A $10 MILLION CONTRACT AND CAME HOME TO TELL MY FAMILY. BUT MY SISTER PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS, AND WHEN -I WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL MY PARENTS SAID I DESERVED IT. DAYS LATER, MY WHOLE FAMILY CAME TO MOCK ME. BUT WHEN THEY SAW WHO STOOD NEXT ΤΟ ΜΕ, DAD SCREAMED: ‘OH MY GOD, IT’S…
The courtroom fell into a sudden, heavy silence the moment I pushed open the massive oak doors. Every eye turned…
During Sunday Dinner, They Divided My Home — My Legal Team Crashed The Party — A Lawyer Pulled Out the Original Deed and Reversed the Partition in Minutes
The buzz of my phone cut through the quiet hum of my office like a siren. Outside the window, downtown…
My Family Banned Me From the Reunion — So I Let Them Walk Into the Beach House I Secretly Owned — They Opened a Closet and Found the Papers That Shattered Our Family
The email arrived like a paper cut. Small, quick, and bloodless — until it stung.It was a Tuesday morning in…
She Donated Blood — The Recipient Was a Dying Mafia Boss Who Wanted Her Forever — Hospital Records and Phone Logs Show He Tried to Track Her Down
Rain hit the pavement like bullets — each drop a metallic whisper cutting through the night. I stood there, soaked…
End of content
No more pages to load
