“The girls don’t know what they’re getting into.”

It’s the most successful dating reality show on TV.

But the ladies who appear on Farmer Wants A Wife to find love may not know exactly what they’re in for.

Once a farmer picks his final lucky lady to be his ‘wife’, the women are often expected to move to the farm, leaving their own life to move in with them.

The question on the tip of many viewers’ tongues – are the girls up for the move that will ultimately change their lives?
Darleen Barton loves her life on the farm. (Credit: Supplied).
Qualified relationship counsellor, therapist, mediator, coach, and fan of the show, Darleen Barton, tells New Idea she can relate.

Darleen met her farmer husband Malcom when she was 22 while she was living in a country town, “but not quite country”.

Darleen’s husband grew up on a property with 500 head of cattle and 300 milking cows.
Darleen’s happy family. (Credit: Supplied).
“My mom worked for Vogue, so you know we were quite fashionable, you know, with the nails and the hair up,” she tells us with a laugh.

After a whirlwind romance, the pair got married and had three daughters on the farm together.

When they got married, she admits she was clueless about what it meant to be a farmer’s wife.

She says she had to learn the realities of life on the land from the ground up, including the physical demands, emotional resilience, and relationship shifts that come with rural living.
Darleen says that FWAW is a “highlight reel” of farm life for many of the ladies who sign up for the show. (Credit: Facebook).
But even though she managed to do it, she doesn’t think that many of the girls who’ve been on the show know what they’re signing up for.

“Farmer Wants a Wife is not steady. It’s a reality environment, so the girls need to be very careful to manage the expectations,” she says, adding “there’s no scrolling on the couch”.

“I think one of the farmers said the other night, “I don’t want a farm-hand, I want a partner” and well, it turns in to that your job description is both,” she says, adding “the land comes first when you marry a farmer, that’s where you make your bread and butter,” she says.

She warns there are a lot of harsh realities of being a farmer’s wife, such as harvesters getting jammed up, cows getting stuck in fences, or needing to herd sheep in while holding a newborn baby.

“It’s not all about butterflies and rainbows and feeding a few lambs. Yes, there are some beautiful times, but you know, animals die, they get sick.  And you may have no money – sometimes farming is financially unpredictable,” she says, adding “you have to get in there as somebody’s partner when you see them suffer. You do what you have to do,” she adds.

Her advice to those who are the lucky ones is to do a ‘test run’ – as the show isn’t displaying what life on the farm would really be like.

“Maybe do a six-week stint out there and get off the grid for six weeks. Set the objective between you and the farmer. If you can afford it, take some time off. And go out there for four to six weeks and just be on the farm and see whether you really like it,” she says.

She adds that it’s important to check in with yourself.

“Ask yourself, ‘how am I feeling about this?’ And the farm runs as the farm runs. There’s no time that the farm is taking off with you. You’re going to be sitting at home on your own,” she says.

Darleen says to succeed on the farm, you can’t be a “needy individual”.

“I don’t say that with malice, but you know, some people can be a little bit needy. ‘I need you around all the time, I can’t be on my own. ’ So that slow integration into a farming community, starting at the family farm, I think would be a good way to go,” she says.
Farmer Tom, who lives on his New South Wales farm, chose Georgie from VIC. (Credit: Facebook).
She warns women to “not to jump into it and leave your life alone,” adding she thinks “that would be foolish” as the isolation of living on a farm can have a negative effect on mental health.

“Mind you, nobody’s dying! We can always get up and reset again and start a new life on our own. But I do notice a lot of those girls are getting a little bit close,” she adds.

One thing that helps her battle isolation and stay happy on the farm is making sure she has her own hobbies and encourages those in similar situations to do the same.

“So you are not reliant upon him, because the land does come first. You know, if you marry a doctor, the patient comes first… if you marry a fireman on call, the fire comes first. When you marry a farmer – and I’m serious when I say it – the land comes first,” she says, adding “you can’t just say, ‘why don’t you lay in today, honey?’ or ‘why don’t we go for a trip out further to the country? Why don’t we go and find a little coffee bar?’  You can’t do it. It’s a non-negotiable,” she tells us.
Girls come from all over Australia to meet their rural Romeo. (Credit: Channel Seven).
Although she has a warning to the ladies, she says she loves the community spirit of the small rural towns.

“Everybody’s doing the same thing, so you’ve got like-minded people. I guess you get an appreciation for the simple things,” she says.

She adds that being outdoors and connecting with nature on the farm is really good for you.

“Being a mental health professional as well, you know, we get people back out in nature for good mental health!” she says with a smile.

Darleen loves her life on the farm and hopes that others find joy in it too.