She was one of the most outspoken stars on Married At First Sight this year.

And now, breakout star Jacqui Burfoot sits down with us to dish out all of her advice on love, relationships, work life, finance and more.

Dive in below to our first week’s questions and don’t forget to send us through your questions for Jacqui. Click here and search for our Just Ask Jacqui post in our grid and send through your question in the comments!
Jacqui sits down with Woman’s Day to give our readers some advice. (Credit: Supplied)

Question 1: My partner and I argue about the silliest things all of the time, how can we communicate better?

Okay, this is such a good question. I feel like everyone on the planet could do with better communication skills. It is an essential skill, and some people literally suck at communication. You’ve go to, I think, be aware of where your skills are on the spectrum of communication skills first, and consider whether maybe you both actually need some improvement.

There are a lot of free courses on YouTube about communication, so you can consider doing it together.

In terms of when you have tough conversations to be had, I always suggest that you take them outside the household, go for a walk, or go for a drive, and do it while you’re both in a good mood. Also, running together and having those conversations, if you’re really fit and active, can be really helpful, or meeting up after you’ve both been exercising, because you’re gonna have those endorphins running through your body, and you’re gonna be in a better state for those things.

I also think when you approach conversations with your partner, you should do the small things well, approach it with kindness, be patient, be happy, and literally speak with a smile on your face.

I know it sounds so underrated, but this is a skill that we got in sales, and in law, actually. A smile can go a long way in helping people receive the message you’re giving, because ultimately, energy is contagious, and nobody wants to hear from a complainer, okay?

So if you’re approaching it with a positive mindset, and maybe whatever you’re talking to your partner about, like you’re approaching it as in the mindset of, I wanna be a really strong couple, how can we be better together? Let’s do this together, I have this idea. Your partner’s gonna be a lot more willing to come along the ride with you.

What they don’t wanna get is be dragged down into negative territory and doom and gloom vibes, okay? Those are my tips. I think it’s also very, very helpful to practice active listening skills in the relationship. Even if you feel like you’re the good communicator, just listening to what your partner says and repeating it back in your own words goes so far, because they feel like they’re getting heard. They feel like they’re understood by you. And maybe you’ve missed something. Maybe they’re gonna be like, “oh no, you’ve missed this part”, or “that’s not what I’m trying to say.” And I think that that’s an important way to see where your communication’s going wrong.

I also think you should have a conversation about whether your partner is unhappy in life for some other reasons, like maybe they’re having a hard time at work and taking it out in the household. So don’t accuse them of that, though. Just be aware of your partner’s emotional state and happiness in life in general. Because I find that often when people are unhappy with the big picture, they get stuck on the details in the little picture.

So it’s always valuable to see the woods from the bark, as they say, and zoom out and be like, are we actually happy with our own individual’s lives and are we taking this out on each other potentially? And if you’re doing that, just stop, just stop. Figure out your own life and figure out how to get yourself in a better position so that you don’t start ruining and imploding your own happiness and relationships.
While they weren’t originally matched by the experts, Jacqui & Clint are just one of two remaining couples still together after the experiment. (Credit: Instagram)

Question 2: I’ve been with my partner for 5 years, but I’m not sure he’s the one. How do you know?

I personally believe that there’s definitely more than one soulmate out there for us. I think the key is to find someone whom when you look out the window, you guys see the same picture of life.

I do think as well, you should try and marry your best friend. Now, what you want to be looking for is aligned values. So let’s say you guys have the same values on kids, finances, and things like that. It means that when these decisions come up in the future, like should we have another kid or should we take a trip to Greece or do an OE [overseas experience], you guys are going to be aligned on the same decisions, which is so important because ultimately a partnership literally becomes a unit.

And so you want that unit to be heading in the same direction. You don’t want the two parts of the unit to be going in separate directions. Otherwise you’re going to get conflict, disagreements, and arguments about things that are core values of yours and are just unchangeable.

So I think that’s what you really want to look for. You want to look for someone who’s so compatible that they basically want to do the same things that you do. Not necessarily like the small day-to-day things. I’m talking about the big picture things like, should we buy a luxury car or should we have another kid? Those are the things that matter.
Jacqui has certainly found the one in Clint Rice. (Credit: Instagram)

Question 3: What advice would you give to someone whose partner is not romantic?

Great question, and I definitely love a lot of romance, so I feel like I have really worked hard on this one over the years.

So first of all, I do think that communication is really important, and I do feel like you should go with the carrot-not-the-stick approach. What you want to do is find out what happiness in a relationship looks like for your partner as well, and then you can explain to him, “Okay, well, if this is what good looks like for you, I’ll show you what good looks like to me.” And be really specific and communicate the things that are romantic to you. We all have different ideas of romance.

Like my idea of romance is having flowers bought for me, as you guys all know. And funnily enough, Clint bought me those flowers literally yesterday, just because he knows I love flowers. In contrast, Clint’s idea of romance is having a head scratch on the couch at the end of the night. So I know to please Clint, all I have to do is give him a head scratch with my long nails, because I know that he finds that really lovely in the relationship and it satisfies him. So everyone’s got to have a different idea of what they want out of a relationship, and it’s just really important that you guys kindly communicate it to each other.

I do really recommend that for romance in particular, you do write a really long list of, let’s say, 10 or 50 things which your partner could do which you consider romantic, because he’s not a magician. He doesn’t know what’s going to be romantic for you. He doesn’t know if you want him to open the door for you or whether you want him to buy you a pair of shoes.

Your idea of romance is going to be different to every other girl’s idea of romance. So be really honest and write a list. And you could just say to him, “Look, babe, next anniversary or next birthday, here are some ideas of things that I’d really enjoy.” Another tip to do is to talk to him about romantic gestures and say things like, “Oh my God, my friend got spoiled to death. She’s so lucky. Her partner wrote her a love note, and it was really cute. And I really was like, Wow, I’m so happy for her.”

Maybe he’ll get the hint that way. But I do definitely recommend just being really honest and communicate it properly with your partner.
Clint knows the way to Jacqui’s heart is a bunch of beautiful flowers. (Credit: Instagram)