If you need any evidence that The Bachelor and Bachelorette are the walking dead of reality TV franchises, look no further than Dancing with the Stars season 34’s cast, which has absolutely no one from Bachelor Nation on its cast.
Dancing with the Stars 34’s cast includes Traitors breakout star Dylan Efron and Olympic gold medalist Jordan Chiles (Photos by Andrew Eccles/Disney; composite by reality blurred)
Every season since DWTS season 28 in 2019 has had one Bachelor cast member, except for last season, which had two: Jenn Tran and Joey Graziadei.
But not season 34. Instead of The Bachelor stars, we have Disney synergy with two The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives stars, Jen Affleck and Whitney Leavitt. Can’t wait to see Zac sitting on the sidelines, furious that a hotter, more talented man is spending time with her.
Whitney sits by the washing machine and learns about the effects of her actions on SLOMW season 1, episode 4
Also possibly missing from DWTS 34: Some kind of asshole from the news, like con artist Anna Delvey, felon Teresa Giudice, or Sean Spicer—though perhaps after publishing this I’ll learn that there is an asshole I didn’t know was an asshole, like that asshole Michael Rappaport, who’s on The Traitors.
The closest this season comes is Hilaria Baldwin, who pretended she was from Spain and who’s married to Alec Baldwin, an asshole who’s often in the news. But she’s nowhere near Sean Spicer levels of awful.
As usual, the show has a mix of athletes (Jordan Chiles, Baron Davis), influencers (hottie Alix Earle), reality TV cast members (The Traitors hottie Dylan Efron), and Australian child reality TV show stars (Australia Zoo hottie Robert Irwin and his snake).
DWTS 34 cast member Robert Irwin and his snake. Not pictured: His other snake, visible in underwear ads (Photo by Andrew Eccles/Disney)
The full cast is below.
First, a programming note: I’m excited to announce that Marshal Knight—who just today offered ideas for Disney+ reality TV—will recap Dancing with the Stars every week, starting with its Sept. 16 premiere.
DWTS season 39’s cast
From “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” Jen Affleck with partner Jan Ravnik
Author and wellness influencer Hilaria Baldwin and partner Gleb Savchenko
Olympic gold medalist Jordan Chiles with partner Ezra Sosa
NBA All-Star Baron Davis with partner Britt Stewart
Social media personality Alix Earle with partner Val Chmerkovskiy
Social media and reality TV star Dylan Efron and partner Daniella Karagach
Actor and musician Corey Feldman with partner Jenna Johnson
“Boy Meets World” star Danielle Fishel with partner Pasha Pashkov
Film and TV actress Elaine Hendrix with partner Alan Bersten
From “Pentatonix,” GRAMMY winner Scott Hoying with partner Rylee Arnold
Wildlife conservationist Robert Irwin with partner Witney Carson
From “Fifth Harmony,” Lauren Jauregui with partner Brandon Armstrong
From “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” Whitney Leavitt with partner Mark Ballas
Comedian Andy Richter with partner Emma Slater
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