They were once Hollywood’s golden couple, lighting up red carpets with steamy public displays of affection and gushing about their ‘fated’ love story.
But after nearly two decades of marriage, Nicole Kidman, 58, and Keith Urban, 57, have sensationally called time on their relationship – and according to one leading Australian dating expert, the warning signs were hiding in plain sight all along.
Perth-based matchmaker Louanne Ward believes the couple’s picture-perfect romance was built on a fragile foundation that eventually couldn’t withstand the pressures of real life.
‘What strikes me most about their situation is that the warning signs were there from the start,’ she told Daily Mail.
‘We’re all so good at romanticising the early stages of relationships that we miss them.’
Nicole and Keith’s whirlwind love story began in 2005. She was freshly divorced from Tom Cruise; he was battling addiction.
The pair bonded over shared loneliness, describing themselves as ‘two very lonely people’ who were ‘frightened and brave’.
Louanne warned that while this sounds deeply romantic, it actually raises ‘immediate red flags’.
Once Hollywood’s golden couple, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have split after nearly 20 years, but a top dating expert has revealed the warning signs were always there
Perth-based matchmaker Louanne Ward (pictured) believes the couple’s picture-perfect romance was built on a fragile foundation that eventually couldn’t withstand the pressures of real life
‘When two people bond primarily through shared pain and vulnerability rather than from a place of wholeness, you’re building on shaky ground,’ she explained.
Just over a year later, they were married in a lavish Sydney ceremony and it was clear Nicole quickly became Keith’s lifeline.
He has often said she ‘saved’ him, crediting her with inspiring his sobriety. But according to Louanne, this only created even more of an unhealthy imbalance in their dynamic.
‘When someone becomes your reason to stay sober, they’ve essentially become your crutch.’
‘She wasn’t just his wife; she was the thing standing between him and his addiction. That’s an enormous amount of pressure to put on another human being.’
This ‘saviour–saved’ pattern emerged early. In 2006, shortly after their wedding, Nicole staged an intervention when Keith relapsed into drug and alcohol addiction while she was away filming.
From that point on, Louanne said, their roles were set, where ‘one person is always in the role of saviour, always responsible for the other’s well-being’.
‘That’s not a marriage of equals, that is a trauma bond.’
Keith has often said Nicole ‘saved’ him, crediting her with inspiring his sobriety. But according to Louanne, this only created even more of an unhealthy imbalance in their dynamic
For years, their fiery red-carpet chemistry and gushing social media tributes became part of their brand.
He has often said she ‘saved’ him, crediting her with inspiring his sobriety, but according to Louanne, this only created even more of an unhealthy imbalance in their dynamic.
‘When couples go overboard with public declarations, constant social media posts, and excessive PDA (public displays of affection), it often indicates they’re trying to convince someone – and frequently that someone is themselves.’
Behind the scenes, the couple faced relentless challenges too. With Nicole filming across Europe and Urban touring the U.S., their marriage was often long-distance.
Insiders claimed the couple had strict rules like never texting, only calling, to stay connected. But Louanne believes this actually backfired.
For years, their fiery red-carpet chemistry and gushing social media tributes became part of their brand
Did you suspect Nicole & Keith were on the rocks?
‘Sometimes you just want to send a quick “thinking of you”,’ she said.
‘Those little touchpoints matter enormously when you’re apart. Making a hard rule against it isn’t romantic; it’s unrealistic.’
Sources told Daily Mail that Urban ultimately initiated the split after months of growing coldness between the pair.
‘He called her out,’ one insider claimed, adding that Nicole was ‘blindsided’ by the intervention.
Louanne also pointed to subtle but telling changes in their public appearances as evidence that their relationship had quietly deteriorated.
‘Nicole stopped appearing at his concerts the way she used to, and he didn’t acknowledge their anniversary on social media after years of making a big deal about it,’ she said.
‘When they were photographed together, that warmth was gone.
‘That’s the danger zone. It’s not fighting that ends relationships, it’s indifference.’
Louanne noted Nicole’s absence from Keith’s concerts and his silence on their anniversary online this year as quiet signs their relationship was deteriorating
Keith abruptly ended a radio interview in July 2025 when asked about Nicole’s steamy sex scenes, signal deeper issues in their marriage at the time
She also highlighted a particularly awkward moment in July 2025 when Keith abruptly ended a radio interview after being asked about Nicole’s steamy on-screen scenes with younger co-stars.
‘That level of discomfort suggests serious underlying issues around trust, insecurity or resentment that they probably weren’t addressing openly.’
Despite their glamorous image and years of shared history, including raising daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith Margaret, 14, Louanne believes their relationship was ultimately unsustainable.
‘Love alone isn’t enough. Distance matters. Communication matters. Physical presence matters. None of these are optional extras,’ she said.
Their separation may have shocked fans, but she insists it offers important lessons for everyday couples.
‘The biggest takeaway is that no relationship is immune.
‘If [its] built on rescuing and being rescued, those dynamics need to be addressed early – not when everything’s already falling apart,’ she warned.
As the world digests the end of one of Hollywood’s longest-running love stories, Louanne’s assessment cuts through the fairytale.
‘Sometimes, two people can genuinely love each other and still struggle to build a healthy life together.
‘Recognising that, as painful as it is, can actually be an act of love in itself.’
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